This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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