worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
