Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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