Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Sober January is a disaster.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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