Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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