I bet he comes in French.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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