so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
