If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
