need another drink. this is the easiest way
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my liver is dry heaving
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
