i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
