But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
