i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
