I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
