DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
