what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
