I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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