Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
