I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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