she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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