i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
