if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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