There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
