how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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