I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
