people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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