Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
