Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
