the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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