It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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