so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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