whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
