Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
