They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
