the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
