I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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