You can't motorboat a personality
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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