Me. At least after what I've been through.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
