You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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