Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
