Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
