kristin has been a bad kristin
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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