It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize