Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
