i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
