Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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