She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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