I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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