Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
