Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
