Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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