I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
