Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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