I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
