You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
