guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
there was a trapeze. enough said
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
