Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
