I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
