is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
