apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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