His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
