so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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